I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
