If i come over, it means nothing
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
