I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
