I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
where are you?
Hypothermia
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
