Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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