you would pick up someone in the library
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
