it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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