were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
