I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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