in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
