I feel like I'm in dance class right now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
why do cheetos always look like penises
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
