She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
