I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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