If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
