They should really pass out barf bags in church
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
