The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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