i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize