i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
