She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
