Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize