we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
