He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
