The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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