I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize