Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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