i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
