Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
