brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Every concussion has its silver lining
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
