you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
