Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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