4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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