Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize