worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
