I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he had hair everywhere except his balls
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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