i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
