Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I said "one day" and that day is not today
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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