The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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