Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize