Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I intend to get homeless drunk
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
