Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
