I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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