Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
