Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
