Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
