I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
the liver wants what the liver wants
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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