today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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