You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
