What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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