Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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