so let's talk penis.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
