I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
