butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
