I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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