Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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