laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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