look no pants
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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