I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
two words: eviction party
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
