Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I would fuck him just for his dog
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
