Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
